Life's A Beach...

I spent the day with friends at Ogunquit beach today. It took us about 4 hours to get there thanks to the traffic.  We almost turned back, but I am glad we did not. The water at the ocean was incredible! So refreshing! The waves were huge!

I was chatted up by a few guys, which was flattering.  I had a great day!

So while having dinner with my friends, I brought up the idea that we (as a gay community) make it seem weird that we might want to hold hands out of respect for other's feelings. Yet, it makes me think that we implying there is something wrong with people showing small signs of affection. I am not a huge public display of affection person for gays or straights, but if two people want to hold hands in public, why should it matter to anyone? The reality is, gays are humans who have feelings like everyone else. Gays are not second-class citizens, and should not be treated as such.

I am guilty of not holding hands with boyfriends in the past. And I am currently single, so it's not an issue right now. My friend did remind me that there might be a physical altercation from an ignorant, non-tolerant person, but is that the only reason we shouldn't be showing affection publicly?

I understand people aren't often exposed to such affection, and it's not currently the norm. But not so many years ago, people also were uncomfortable with people of different races being together. In my opinion, it's time to grow up and accept that people are people, and love is love, and it's not up to us to decide who should be allowed to hold hands or not.

So after the discussion, I am not sure either party persuaded the other of their argument, but it was a good discussion overall. As we left the restaurant, I noticed a gay couple leaving a building nearby. They were both holding hands, and the world didn't seem to end. I would say that's a step in the right direction.

Online Dating

Dating sites. There is Match.com, Chemistry.com, PlentyofFish.com, OKCupid.com, and the list goes on. I have been on all of these at one point or another. You'd think with the number of people who have access to the internet, it would be easier to find someone to date. But like anything, timing is everything.

It's quite an interesting phenomenon. You put up pictures, detailed personal information, and your deepest desires, and hope for the best. It truly is a crap shoot. Will Prince Charming stumble across your profile? Will he be compelled to send you an email and ask for more information and a possible date? Will you search the thousands of profiles and find that one picture/profile that sends your heart and mind reeling with possibilities?

This whole online dating isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure we've all seen the happy couples on the TV commercials, and that is great for them. But where is my TV commercial success? I suppose there is value in online dating. You can divulge information to a stranger, telling all your truths and secrets, and hope they respond favorably. There is the instant message, which allows you to talk in "real time." For some reason it seems easier than an actual phone conversation for some people. For me, personally, if we hit it off on instant messenger, I prefer the phone because then you get a better sense of other person's actual personality, and subtle sarcasm doesn't get lost in translation as it often does online.

It seems that meeting people out in public for the first time, at a club for example, has become outdated. When you go out, so many people are busy texting it almost seems silly to bother going out to meet someone at all. Of course, if things go well on instant message, email, and/or texts, then you may decide to eventually meet. Which brings me to my next question...

Why do people lie about their age? Why do they post pictures that are several years old? Isn't the ultimate goal to meet face to face? At that point, the false digits and aged photos will be proven deceitful. This only sets you up for an awkward moment when you realize the person you have been talking to has already started off the relationship with lies. It's very disappointing, believe me.

I am a believer in truth in advertising. Do I put everything out there right away? (Yes, often I do, sigh...) I do post my true age and recent pictures. It is 2010, and there are cell phones and many other ways to get your image online. If you don't have such a feature on your cell phone, ask a friend to take a picture of you and send it to your email. Please.

Happy One-Year Anniversary!

I am not sure why I decided to start up my blog again, a few days after the one year anniversary of my first posting! That is kind of funny to me! I hope this year I will fill up this blog more than I did in the past! :)

OK...so where to begin? As you may have figured out (especially if you read my profile) I am a gay man, so I figured I woud write about the joys and frustrations of my life as a gay man. I am a very upbeat, happy person 98% of the time. Very little gets me down. I look at anger and hatred as wasted energy, and I would rather spend my time trying to be happy and make other people happy.

So a little about me. I turned 41 this summer. In the gay world, I should probably be checking into a nursing home, as most people seem to want guys that are 18-27. Still, I have held up well physically, and I look much younger than my age (thank you Nivea night cream). I am not an effeminate guy, and I tend to like guys that act masculine as well. I am low-key in public, though I have been known to cause outbursts of laughter from my friends.

I am currently single, and I am not really ok with that. I am not one to jump from relationship to relationship, and I don't date just for the sake of dating someone, because I don't necessarily have to be single. I have had offers to date, but I just haven't found the "one" that makes my heart skip a beat just yet.

I have had some wonderful boyfriends in the past, and yes, there are three of them that I would consider dating again, if the opportunity presented itself. I am not sure if that's why I am currently single, and fate is making me hold off for now, or just bad dating luck. I will keep you posted on that.

My friends are always curious why I am still single. I have to wonder that myself. The physical attraction is a personal decision by the viewer, so maybe I am not everyone's type. Though I do get hit on by women quite frequently, as well as some gay men that I am not interested in physically. (Sigh.)

I am actually very happy with WHO I am as a person, however. I honestly try to treat people better than I expect to be treated. I have a great sense of humor, a sensitive personality, and a lot of passion to share. When I am dating someone, I give myself to them. Maybe too much. I am a bit of an open book. I wear my emotions on my sleeve (which can be hard to read if I am wearing a polo, but I digress.)

I am an actual believer in monogomy and the living happily ever after thing...call me Cinderella, but it's just who I am. I grew up in an ideal home situation with two parents that truly loved each other, so I know that true love is possible.

So I remain hopeful and optimistic that in this advanced age of mine, I will eventually find the true love I have been hoping to find.